Wanda Sykes Has Been Reduced to an Apple

I convince people they are chat bots.

You: hello
Stranger: :)
You: are you a bot?
Stranger: i can not answer that question
You: so you are a bot
Stranger: i can not answer that question
You: Do you know Jesse?
Stranger: no sorry
Stranger: asl?
You: he's cool
Stranger: who is he?
You: he's my friend
Stranger: what does you friend do?
You: he writes copy
You: do you have a friend?
Stranger: not many
Stranger: i dont understand, what is copy
You: for ads
You: copy does not compute? Is that it, bot?
Stranger: are you a twat
You: no, I am a full sized human
You: I have all parts
Stranger: full sized, wow
Stranger: you not very interesting
You: have you never seen one?
You: because you live in a computer
You: bot
Stranger: haha.
Stranger: im joking
Stranger: im actually a researcher
You: oh, collecting data?
Stranger: no for tv
You: do you learn?
Stranger: where you from?
You: New York
Stranger: learn what?
You: where is your server located?
Stranger: im stayin in a hotel, im on business in the uk
You: you need a converterto plug into the wall
Stranger: there are some nut job on this site
You: this is my first time
Stranger: no, im on my clients lap top
Stranger: what brings you here
You: Jesse
You: where did you learn to mimic speach so well?
Stranger: what do you mean?
You: well someone programed you really well
You: it's almost like I'm talking to a real person
Stranger: a company called rb44 clone
You: must be a small operation
You: there is nothing on google about our masters
Stranger: yes, only 68 members
Stranger: my spelling needs improving
Stranger: what do you do for a living?
You: I feel like the words would be taught as a whole, so there would be no spelling errors
You: apparently I am wrong
You: I work for the government
Stranger: police, council?
Stranger: is it fun
Stranger: ?
You: census
You: i collect data
You: it's like the way you learn
You: bot
Stranger: collecting data for evidence, you will not win.
You: it must be nice to only base judgemnets on objective statistics
You: no emotions to get in your way
Stranger: i have emotions
You: impossible
Stranger: statistic are subjective, i can see you
Stranger: sorry statistics
You: but how can you see with no eyes?
Stranger: 72% of the human race have YO66 tags placed in there bodies, i am monitoring you right now from satalite k
You: are those tags for tv research?
Stranger: computer says no
You: then at what point did you lie to me
You: and how come you only now started talking in third person?
Stranger: we are from klassvon 9
Stranger: we lied upto the point of where i said asl
You: so you do know Jesse
Stranger: yes i do, nice lad
Stranger: ive known him for about 6 years
You: he's getting married
Stranger: sorry 16 year
Stranger: s
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

josh: GPOYW: Webcast edition. LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE!

Idiots.

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My life may be utterly meaingless now.

azizisbored: My friend Evan just graduated from college!...

Pickled Corpse Tumbles Out of Rum Barrel

HOLY FUCKING BALLS!

Life, Bro. Life.